April 2010
34 posts
“Good evening ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are all doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress.”
—Captain Eric Moody (source) (via thisisnothollywood)
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I actually wish I could show all of the emails my 90 year old grandmother sends us.
They are the most depressing things in the world.
Here is part of oneI have given up on the frozen dinners. Too expensive and not really very good.
The picture on the package looks wonderful but I don’t think it is really a picture of what is inside.
Maybe they have a special camera. I would like to have them take my picture with that camera. I bet I could look like Brittany Spears or at least Rita Heyworth.
BAM!
- her: my mom was actually preparing to become an astronaut, but then she didn't use a condom and BAM! here i am
- her: lol
home phone rings
- me: Hello?
- female: How is my sexy, silver-haired fox tonight?
- me: This is his son.
- female: Will you tell him I called?
- me: Sure thing.
- female: Thank you!
- me: No problem.
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